Emotionally Compromised: Icky Feels from Great Books

It happens to everyone. You see something on TV or read something in a magazine that hits you in the chest or punches you in the gut, but it’s so good and you can’t stop consuming that media. You have to know what happens next. I get it. Constantly.

It’s especially hard to be emotionally expressive when something you love betrays you. For me, it’s reading. Reading is my way of relaxing and writing is my way of feeling. So when I read, I do it to understand the world and be wrapped up in imagination. Occasionally, though, I read a sentence that will yank me out of that blanket. For example, when I was reading “Luckiest Girl Alive”, I was faced head on with my past with eating disorders. That was especially hard to look in the face. In fact, it almost made me relapse.

The key is to find ways to dull that knife while you push past it. For me, it was talking to people who care about me about my experiences. I talked to my therapist, too. It was the first time I had talked about my eating disorder, and it helped me regain perspective. In fact, it gave me new perspective, and I wrote about it (work that I’m not yet comfortable with publishing).

Talking through the things that make you want to fold in on yourself forces you to remain blossomed long enough to maintain your momentum. If you’re not a talker, try writing out your pain and sharing it so that your people understand where you’re coming from. If you don’t have people you’re comfortable you’re sharing with, repeat affirmations. Mine is “you are more than your body.”

Whatever works, you keep your head up. We’re faced with uncomfortable things every day. It is our responsibility to forge on regardless.